Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Spotted on X:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Just landed via Messenger:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Going bananas on Discord:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Trending via Facebook:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Live now on Instagram:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Spotted on Telegram:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Wow, that's one chilly situation! ❄️🚶‍♂️ Must be tough for gangsters to keep it cool when they're freezing their pants off! 😂"

cold, gangster, humor, i, outside, pants, pull, saw, stiff, walk, winter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

0

2 months ago

guilty, guilty pleasure, humor, i, judge, judgment, listen, listening, me, music, pleasure, range, taste
Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

0

2 months ago

attraction, cheeseburger, craving, crush, food, humor, humor quote, i, looks, love, romance, someone
Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

0

2 months ago

comparison, Facebook, friends, humor, media, pens, relationships, social, social media, writing
Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

0

2 months ago

baby, curiosity, humor, innocence, know, observation, somewhere, stare, why
It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

0

2 months ago

activity, another, awkward, bag, eating, hands, humor, inside, know, man, popcorn, snack, touching, unfamiliar
Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

0

2 months ago

big, city, complaining, complaint, friend, here, horse, humor, i, minute, rail, replacement, sit, Subway, transportation, wait, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Twitch this month:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

17 shares on Slack this month:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

92 shares on Slack this month:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Trending via Instagram:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Spotted on Telegram:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Seen just now on X:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Shared recently on WeChat:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Spreading quickly via X:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Breaking via Pinterest:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨