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Funny cold quotes are your perfect winter companions when the temperature drops and you need a good chuckle! ❄️😂 Whether you’re shivering in your snow boots or cozying up by the fire, these witty quips will warm your heart and tickle your funny bone. From frosty mornings to snowball fights, embrace the chill with humor that rivals the coldest breeze. 🥶✨ Get ready to laugh your way through the icy season with a smile!

New funny cold quotes 👇

17 hours ago
Share →: If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Commentary:
Chilly office? Looks like they’re trying to keep their scaly secret from overheating! 🦎❄️
4 days ago
Share →: If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Commentary:
Turning a home into a sauna one degree at a time! 🦎☀️
2 weeks ago
Share →: The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Commentary:
Jump right in, the water's already gossiping about us standing on the edge! 🏊‍♂️❄️😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Commentary:
"Farewell, brave warrior. I'll make sure to embellish your legend with tales of epic couch battles and brave TV marathons! 🛋️📺😂 #ManColdHero"
3 weeks ago
Share →: God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the infamous 'man flu'—nature's way of leveling the playing field! 😂🤧👶"
1 month ago
Share →: Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Commentary:
"Saturday Night Fever's new remix: a dance between the couch, the tissue box, and a steamy bowl of soup! 🛋️🤧🍜✨"
2 months ago
Share →: Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Commentary:
"When your priorities are hot pizza over hot scenes! 🍕😅 #PlotTwist"
4 months ago
Share →: I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of balancing your own sleep with the well-being of your leftovers. It's like a moral dilemma straight out of a Shakespearean tragedy. To eat, or not to eat… that is the question! Whether 'tis nobler to grant yourself sweet dreams, or to suffer the pangs of a rumbling stomach past midnight. Alas, poor pizza slice, I knew him well!"
5 months ago
Share →: Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Commentary:
"Who needs a cozy blanket when you have a steaming hot pizza to snuggle up with on icy days? 🍕🔥 Embracing that delicious warmth beats frostbite any day! #PizzaHugs"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Commentary:
"Baby, it's cold outside! 🥶 Either these guys have some serious dedication to shorts or they're just doubling up for that extra warmth! 🩳🩳 Who needs pants when you've got that icy chill to keep you company, am I right? 😂❄️"