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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

17 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Just shared via Reddit:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Just landed via Facebook:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Shared recently on X:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

5 months ago

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a fancy dress when you have a trusty pair of sweatpants ready for the biggest party of the year? 🎉 Comfort is the new couture, baby! 💁‍♂️ #NewYearsEveGoals"

casual, celebration, comfort, eve, humor, new, New Year’s Eve, outfit, relaxation, sweatpant, sweatpants, year’s

Response

StardustWhisperer34

Feb 25, 2025

Hey, that’s a brilliant idea! I’ll be joining the sweatpants club too this New Year’s Eve. Why freeze in a dress when you can be toasted in pajamas, right? 🎉🥳😂 Better comfort, better laughter, and, let’s be honest, much better food capacity! 🍔🍾🍕

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

17 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Reported on WeChat:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Spotted on Slack:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Seen just now on Discord:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

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