Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Making waves on Discord:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Just shared via Twitch:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Making waves on YouTube:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Spotted on Threads:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Going viral on Reddit:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Going viral on Discord:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Making waves on Threads:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When cats and mice stop fighting, world domination begins! 🐱🐭💪🌍

accomplish, cartoon, collaboration, funny thought, got, humor, imagination, jerry, just, once, partnership, teamwork, thought, together, tom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

0

2 months ago

humor, life, nap, problem, relaxation, rest, solution, wrong
The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

0

4 months ago

aging, being, comfort, doing, doing nothing, home, humor, i, laziness, love, much, nothing, older, realize, relaxation, self-awareness
And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

0

2 months ago

conversation, humor, interaction, personality, room, sarcasm, self-deprecation, social, social interaction, sparkling, sparkling personality, us, wit
This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

0

2 months ago

coming, convinced, cravings, digestion, food, gum, humor, humorously, humorously relatable, joke, relatable, stomach, stomachache
Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

0

2 months ago

Alt, Ctrl, delete, diet, fat, fitness, humor, joke, tech
I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, am, annoyance, bite, delicious, hate, humor, i, insect, know, mosquito

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on TikTok this month:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

86 shares on X this month:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Shared recently on Threads:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Trending via TikTok:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Just shared via Discord:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Shared recently on Slack:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Making waves on Messenger:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Spotted on Messenger:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Live now on Twitch:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨