Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Remember, when someone says they're thinking of you, it could mean they're sending good vibes your way… or they could be holding a creepy doll with your name on it. Better safe than sorry, folks!" 🚪👀

door, humor, just, lock, safety, somebody, thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

6 months ago

colour, creatures, difference, different, fan, fans, favourite, favourite colour, humour, people, personality, purple, purple fan, things
I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

2 months ago

affection, cheeky, definitely, eyes, forehead, humor, humorist, i, playful, put, romantic, sarcasm, teasing, witty, wrinkles, WTF
You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

2 months ago

better, communication, concern, home, humor, injured, know, let, me, pissed, safely
I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

2 months ago

call, ever, humor, i, irony, purpose, quality, recorded, recorded call, training, used, wonder
For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, earlier, humor, humor quote, ID, irony, laziness, much, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, sleep, someone, think
Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

2 months ago

childhood, drug, fairy, gateway, gateway drug, getting, humor, irony, jokes, money, organ, organ trafficking, tooth, Tooth Fairy, trafficking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Slack this month:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

43 shares on Threads this month:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Spotted on X:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Just shared via Discord:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Making waves on Threads:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Going viral on Reddit:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Trending via WeChat:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Breaking via Facebook:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨