Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.
  • Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.
  • If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.
  • Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.
  • If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
  • If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.