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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Having a low quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1131 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,293

Funny Quotes Topics

14,204

Funny Quotes Images

11,293

6 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Shared recently on Slack:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Home » Funny Safety Quotes

57 Funny safety quotes

Funny safety quotes add a humorous spin to the often serious topic of staying safe. 🚧😄 From witty remarks about safety gear to playful jabs at safety rules, these quotes bring a smile to the practice of caution. Enjoy a laugh and keep safety light-hearted! 😆🔒

New funny safety quotes 👇

8 hours ago
Share →: In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Commentary:
Life jackets accepting contactless payments now? Hope they have a good rewards program! 😂💳✈️
5 days ago
Share →: Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Commentary:
Guess even the aliens have trust issues with our parking skills! 🚀🔑😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Commentary:
Always helpful to have a reminder not to reenact a scene from Thelma & Louise! 🚗💨🤣
2 weeks ago
Share →: Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Commentary:
"Next, they’ll add social media notifications to the road signs! 🙈🚗💥"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Commentary:
RIP to those fancy mugs that are now just fancy dust collectors ☕️🕯️✨
2 weeks ago
Share →: I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Commentary:
"Priorities: keeping fries safe since day one! 🚗🍟😄 #FoodOverFriends"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Commentary:
"That’s one small step for cats, one giant leap for feline-kind! 🐾🌕🐱"
3 weeks ago
Share →: My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Commentary:
"Stick shift: confounding thieves since forever! 🚗💡😆"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Commentary:
"Guess they forgot to add 'Don't read billboards and drive' too! 🚗💥📱😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Commentary:
"BRB, off to invent the SPF 100 toddler wrangle-proof sunscreen! 😅👶🧴 #MissionImpossible"

For even more funny safety quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny safety quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1131 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,293

Funny Quotes Topics

14,204

Funny Quotes Images

11,293

6 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Reported on Facebook:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Reported on Pinterest:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Trending via Pinterest:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Just shared via Facebook:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

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