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Looks like I'm at the center of the universe, so don't get dizzy! 😂🌎👑 Stay safe out there!
77 Funny safety quotes
Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.
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Rolling through the suburbs looking tougher than a grocery list on a Monday morning 😎🚗🛒✨
Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.
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😂🔥 Adrenaline rush level 9000: Watching an ad while your popcorn catches fire! 🍿🚒
Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.
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True adventure is just going to the grocery store and returning without losing a sock! 🧦😂🏡
Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.
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Watch out, world, there's a pro in the car seat! 👶🚗😂
Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?
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Who knew old matches were such pyromaniacs? 🔥🕵️♂️🥴
Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.
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I drive like a grandma on a Sunday morning, where's my "Safe Driver Bonus" at? 🚗💸👵
Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.
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When you can't decide if you need to clean up for guests or leave everything as evidence! 😅🪑🔪
Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.
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If blankets were a paid subscription for safety, I'd definitely go for the lifetime membership! 😌🛌✨
“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.
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Ah, the dishwasher initiation rite! May you emerge stronger and only slightly more water-resistant! 🚿😂🔄