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Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

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Who needs WiFi when you've got all 32 volumes of vintage muscle power? ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ˜‚

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

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Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag thatโ€™s not fully sealed at the bottom?

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One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks Iโ€™m dumb.

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Iโ€™m not tispy. Iโ€™m merry.

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I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say โ€œI was reading aboutโ€ instead of โ€œI saw on an episode of Love Islandโ€

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Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying โ€œsteam me up, Scottyโ€ a few too many times.

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I donโ€™t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

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The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

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One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

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Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.