33 funny set quotes - Wordgag

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

May 23, 2026

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

May 23, 2026

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

May 23, 2026

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

May 23, 2026

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

May 23, 2026

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

May 23, 2026

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

May 23, 2026

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

May 23, 2026

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

May 23, 2026

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

May 23, 2026

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

May 22, 2026

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

May 22, 2026

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

May 22, 2026

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

May 20, 2026

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

May 19, 2026

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

May 19, 2026

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

May 19, 2026

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

May 18, 2026

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Mar 31, 2026

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Mar 31, 2026

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Mar 30, 2026

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Mar 30, 2026

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Mar 29, 2026

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Mar 29, 2026

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Mar 29, 2026

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Mar 29, 2026

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Mar 28, 2026

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Mar 27, 2026

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Mar 27, 2026

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Mar 27, 2026

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Mar 27, 2026

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Mar 27, 2026

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Mar 27, 2026