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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,361

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Spotted on Instagram:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

2 months ago

0

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, it appears someone got the gourmet chocolate upgrade in the game of Life! 🍫💰 Who knew that chasing dreams would come with a side of sticker shock? Don't worry, you're not alone in this bougie box of surprises! 😄 #LifeGoals #ChocolateWoes

box, chocolate, comparison, expectation, expensive, humor, i, life

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

0

3 weeks ago

90, debugging, humor, just, motion, own, programming, realization, slow, slow motion, stupidity
Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

0

2 months ago

behavior, child, child behavior, dawn, difficult, difficulty, evolution, history, human, human history, humor, kid, kids, making, man, parenting, things
My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

0

2 months ago

better, body, body confidence, confidence, humor, just, lighting, self-deprecating, summer, summer body, winter, winter body
Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

0

2 months ago

annoying, boy, hell, i, joke, period, regular, relationship, see you, still
If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

0

2 months ago

ever, hot, i, me, means, missing, news, pictures, put, skinny
I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

0

2 months ago

allowed, boxing, competition, face, face punch, humor, i, joke, me, moment, opponent, punch, quit, quitting, sarcastic, sports, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Instagram this month:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,436

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Just shared via Facebook:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Live now on Twitch:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Seen just now on Twitch:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Just shared via Slack:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Trending via Threads:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Making waves on YouTube:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Spotted on Telegram:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

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