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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Freshly posted on YouTube:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Exploring new paths and meeting my step goals—who knew getting lost could be so productive? 😂🚶‍♂️📈"

exercise, FitBit, fitness, getting, getting lost, got, humor, labyrinth, lost, nice, steps, walking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, chasing, humor, own, playfulness, self-awareness, spirit, spirit animal, tail
People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

2 months ago

change, demon, eyes, glowing, humor, nostalgia, people, photograph, red, used
I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

2 months ago

computer, connection, history, i, internet, noise, nostalgia, remember, screaming, should, technology, used, warning
My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

2 months ago

career, career plan, disappear, dreaming, humor, lottery, plan, sarcasm, thinking, win, wishful, wishful thinking
Killing me softly with his schlong.

2 months ago

humor, innuendo, joke, killing, laughter, me, relationship, schlong, softly
“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

2 months ago

bayonet, bring, explain, fight, gun, humor, irony, knife, logic, me, okay, weapons

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Twitch this month:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

74 shares on Threads this month:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

75 shares on X this month:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Going viral on YouTube:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Going bananas on Twitch:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Just shared via WeChat:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Making waves on WeChat:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Killing me softly with his schlong.

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨