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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,882

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Making waves on Instagram:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Spotted on Twitch:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Just shared via Reddit:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Live now on Threads:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

3 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Exploring new paths and meeting my step goals—who knew getting lost could be so productive? 😂🚶‍♂️📈"

exercise, FitBit, fitness, getting, getting lost, got, humor, labyrinth, lost, nice, steps, walking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

1 month ago

cinema, days, days off, desire, entertainment, feast, five, fun, high, i, laptop, relaxation, return, row, too, where, work
Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

1 month ago

ask, communication, humor, i, irony, listening, me, myself, repeat, sarcasm
My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

1 month ago

awkwardness, boyfriend, dinner, humor, invitation, invited, move, neighbors, over, relationship, situation, social, social situation
At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

1 month ago

appointment, blood, blood pressure, doctor, end, humor, irony, medical, own, pressure, self-care
I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

1 month ago

addiction, beverage, coffee, Colombia, drink, farmer, humor, i, joke, lot, me, mean, photo, say, wallet
Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

2 months ago

avoid, elevator, fear, frighten, humor, i, joke, me, pun, steps, take

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Going viral on TikTok:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Making waves on YouTube:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Going bananas on YouTube:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Trending via Discord:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

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(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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