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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has copied:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has copied:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has shared:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has copied:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has copied:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has viewed:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has shared:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has downloaded:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via TikTok:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Just landed via X:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Making waves on Facebook:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass β€” matcha.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Making waves on X:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Breaking via Slack:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Going viral on Facebook:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Trending via Twitch:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Making waves on X:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

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Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.
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Commentary:
🀫 Shhh, quick! Freeze! Monday is approaching! If we stay perfectly still, maybe we can trick Monday into thinking we're just a part of the furniture and escape its clutches! πŸ˜„ Let's blend in with the office decor and hope for the best! πŸͺ‘πŸ•°οΈ #StealthyMondayAvoidance

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

79 shares on TikTok this month:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

60 shares on Discord this month:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

70 shares on Discord this month:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t know how to explain this, but β€œhot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Might start a YouTube channel β€œwill it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,665

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has shared:

Girls be like, β€œI hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has copied:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has copied:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has viewed:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has viewed:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Making waves on Discord:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Trending via Reddit:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Trending via Reddit:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like β€œomg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named β€œSassy”

Seen just now on Messenger:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Trending via X:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

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