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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,755

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Spotted on Telegram:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Making waves on Twitch:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Broadcasted on Slack:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Trending via Messenger:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like owning a Peloton is great for your fitness… your social fitness! 🚴‍♂️😄📢

equipment, exercise, exercise equipment, favorite, favorite part, having, i, Peloton, people, showing, showing off, status, status symbol, symbol, telling, telling people

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40 shares on Twitch this month:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

82 shares on Slack this month:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

They should invent someone who holds me.

69 shares on Discord this month:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Breaking via Twitch:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Freshly posted on X:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Shared recently on Facebook:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Going bananas on Discord:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Breaking via YouTube:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

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Activity Log ✨

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨