Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Watch out world, this year I'm not only reaching for the stars, but also making sure the extraterrestrials have my back 👽🚀 Who knows, maybe they'll invite me for a ride on their spaceship! #TeamAlien"

aliens, goal, humor, just, know, side, sure, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

2 months ago

ever, humor, problem, reason, relationship, sarcasm, wit
Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

2 months ago

20, appreciation, corporate, corporate job, email, humor, job, killer, money, salary, should, someone, tips, work, work humor, workplace, worst
Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

1 week ago

911, 911 operator, call, call center, center, emergency, empath, hanging, humor, job, job struggle, me, operator, overwhelmed, screaming, someone, struggle, work, working
Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

2 months ago

big, drank, drink, glass, health, humor, hydration, i, inform, just, regret, right, water
No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

2 months ago

culture, frustration, humor, internet, internet culture, lived, matter, media, Reddit, screenshot, screenshots, situation, social, social media, someone, storytelling, update, upvote
Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

2 months ago

back, banter, conversation, conversations, funny remark, height, humor, i, joke, people, person, playful, playful banter, remark, saying, short, short person

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

51 shares on X this month:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Just landed via WeChat:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Shared recently on Threads:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Going bananas on Slack:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Breaking via WeChat:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨