Commentary:
Imagine trying to get some beauty sleep and feeling like you're a live-action version of The Princess and the Pea. Someone flip your mattress switch? 😴🏓🌏
40 Funny side quotes
It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.
Commentary:
The early bird catches the cannonball! 🐦🔫😄
My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”
Commentary:
When your bank account's telling you to chew like a pirate with a toothache 😂🦷🏴☠️
When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.
Commentary:
That's the moment when "I do" meets mockumentary magic! 🎥💍👀
Runners who smoke need to pick a side.
Commentary:
Trying to outrun your own smoke cloud must be the ultimate cardio challenge! 🚬🏃♂️💨
A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.
Commentary:
When she's right even when the universe is against you! 🤦♂️❤️🔮
Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.
Commentary:
Why showcase the "au naturel" version when filtered fabulousness is just a swipe away? 🍦😜 #IceCreamGetsYouIn
The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect bedtime lineup: sweet dreams and cocoa beans 📚🍫💤
I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.
Commentary:
Looks like I could use a GPS with the Force to navigate rush hour! 😂🚦✨
Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.
Commentary:
I upload pictures with filters for my online persona; my home is where the unfiltered reality show starts! 📷✨🏠😅