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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,906

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Going viral on WeChat:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Going viral on Instagram:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Spotted on Reddit:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Spotted on Pinterest:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Trending via TikTok:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

2 months ago

0

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless ritual of morning contemplation: when deep thoughts about exhaustion rival the complexity of the universe itself. 💤🤔 Remember, pondering fatigue is a sport reserved for the bravest souls who dare to confront the unwavering allure of the snooze button! 🛌⏰ Stay strong, dear bed philosopher!

am, bed, humor, i, morning, procrastination, routine, self-reflection, thinking, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

0

2 months ago

boom, boom shakalaka, excitement, Friday, fun, shakalaka, synonym
My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

1

2 months ago

awkwardness, being, brand, dance, effort, fun, guest, humor, personal, social, wedding
My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

0

2 months ago

birth, getting, i, Lil, lists, scroll, too, year
Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

0

2 months ago

airport, boarding, boarding gate, favorite, fitness, fitness joke, gate, humor, joke, running, travel, travel humor, workout
Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

0

4 weeks ago

alarm, day, ever, freedom, great, humor, lazy, lazy day, morning, realize, relaxation, sex, sleep, today
My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

0

4 weeks ago

bit, conversation, every, family, family gathering, gathering, going, holiday, humor, incorrectly, joke, mispronunciation, name, politician, politicians, politics, Thanksgiving

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on X this month:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,041

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Trending via Snapchat:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Just shared via Discord:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Live now on Discord:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

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