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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Jan 6, 2026

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Spotted on Pinterest:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Going viral on Discord:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Trending via YouTube:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Just shared via X:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Just shared via Slack:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Spotted on Threads:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Going viral on Threads:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Seen just now on Reddit:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

2 months ago

0

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone finally listened to TLC and decided to stick to the rivers and lakes they're used to in 2022! 🌊 No more chasing waterfalls for you, huh? Let's hope this resolution doesn't go chasing pavements instead! 🎶 #NewYearNewMe"

change, chasing, humor, lake, lakes, music, music reference, new, new year, reference, resolution, river, stick, stick to, stop, used, used to, waterfall, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

0

2 months ago

beard, drawing, humor, i, kids, me, parenting, pictures, seeing, self-awareness, tell, trim
The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

0

2 months ago

comparison, feeding, function, humor, kid, kids, need, noisy, offline, printer
Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

0

2 months ago

body, change, color, color change, every, eye, eye color, eyes, funny idea, humor, idea, little, rub, rubbing, should, time
I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

0

2 months ago

Authenticator, frustration, humor, logging, logging in, microsoft, sarcasm, sick, technology, work
Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

0

2 months ago

career, education, fun, give, humor, irony, job, jobs, joke, people, prank, study
At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, breaks, humor, i, life, nap, pee, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on X this month:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

36 shares on Telegram this month:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Spotted on Threads:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Spotted on Twitch:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Making waves on Reddit:

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Just landed via Slack:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Making waves on Slack:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

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