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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

The peace of not knowing.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has copied:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has downloaded:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has shared:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has shared:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,398

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Threads:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Spotted on Telegram:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Just landed via Discord:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Just shared via Threads:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Just landed via X:

Self-cleaning conscience.

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

0
My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.
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Commentary:
When I shower, I sell out every night and never give away free tickets! 🎀🚿🎢

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Twitch this month:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

35 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Dentist appointments are so weird. β€œHi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

54 shares on YouTube this month:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

41 shares on X this month:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

44 shares on Discord this month:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Trending Topics πŸ“

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Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If PokΓ©mon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Job applications be like β€œhow did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,358

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has shared:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has viewed:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has copied:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has shared:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has copied:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going bananas on Instagram:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Trending via Reddit:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Spotted on Reddit:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Going viral on Snapchat:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Seen just now on X:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Spotted on Telegram:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Going viral on Telegram:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

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