Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

3,853

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Just landed via Reddit:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Making waves on X:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Going viral on WeChat:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Spotted on Slack:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Trending via LinkedIn:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Seen just now on Telegram:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Making waves on Telegram:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

2 months ago

0

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you're leading the life of a nocturnal squirrel 🐿️! Up in the morning feeling like nap time, and at night tossing and turning like a restless sloth 🦥. Maybe it's time for a bedtime routine shake-up…or invest in some industrial-strength blackout curtains!😄🌙 #SleepyheadStruggles

asleep, cycle, fall, fall asleep, humor, i, insomnia, issues, morning, night, sleep, sleep issues, sleeping, sleeping cycle, sleepy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

0

2 months ago

am, apart, falling, i, love, only
Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

0

2 months ago

challenge, communication, figure, fun, me, mystery, opening, relationship, trying
Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

0

1 month ago

concern, exercise, heat, humor, jogging, okay, people, seriously, shout, shout out, sure
For the record, I use a turntable.

0

2 months ago

activity, fun, fun activity, hobby, i, music, nostalgia, record, turntable
Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

1

2 months ago

better, competition, emotions, hate, heart, humor, passion, rivalry, sports
I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

0

2 months ago

advice, am, capable, humor, i, independence, life, need, own, ruining, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on YouTube this month:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

47 shares on Slack this month:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

18 shares on X this month:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,862

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Trending via Threads:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Just landed via Threads:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Making waves on Twitch:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Making waves on TikTok:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Breaking via Reddit:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Going viral on Instagram:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

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