Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.
  • My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.
  • Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.
  • In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.
  • New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”
  • That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.