Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Live now on Snapchat:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Breaking via Twitch:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Breaking via X:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your stomach decides to be the lead singer in the "Hunger Symphony"! 🎤📞🍽️

automatic, call, humor, just, messaging, sound, stomach, system, voice, voice messaging system

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

0

4 months ago

bro, brush, casual, cat, humor, i, whatever
There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

0

2 months ago

discord, Discord Nitro, gaming, humor, living, nitro, online, online service, pay, paying, people, real, service, subscription, us
At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult humor, American, American Dad, animation, cartoon, comedy, dad, family, Family Guy, graduate, guy, humor, life, life stage, point, show, stage, TV, TV Show
Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

0

2 months ago

dude, later, others, pull, treat, treated, want
Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

0

2 months ago

back, disappointment, everything, expectations, expensive, humor, i, illegal, likes, me, relationships, text, texting
Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

0

2 days ago

affection, animal, booster, day, day improvement, funny voice, humor, improvement, interaction, just, kind, looking, love, miraculous, mood, mood booster, much, pet, pet interaction, saying, stuff, voice, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

28 shares on Discord this month:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Shared recently on Discord:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Seen just now on Twitch:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Live now on Snapchat:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Going viral on Slack:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨