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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,502

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Just landed via Twitch:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Making waves on Reddit:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Seen just now on Threads:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Going viral on Instagram:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Spotted on Instagram:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

2 months ago

0

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the teen drama is hitting its peak! 👚🧼 Who knew clean clothes could cause such chaos? 🤷‍♂️ Next up, will folding socks be considered a hate crime? Stay tuned for more laundry shenanigans! 🧦😆 #TeenAngstLaundryDay

chores, cleaning, family, humor, i, laundry, life, parenting, ruin, teen, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

0

2 months ago

bag, cheese, comfort, comfort food, eat, eating, food, humor, indulgence, just, need, shredded, shredded cheese, snack, sometimes, straight
Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

0

4 months ago

home, humor, interaction, media, online, online interaction, sarcasm, social, social media, someone, Twitter, unhappy, unhappy home, welcome
Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

0

2 months ago

avoid, bacon, beliefs, diet, food, humor, i, irony, people, preference, religion
Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

0

2 months ago

counseling, health, humor, letting, life, manager, mental, mental health, relief, self-care, speak, stress, stress relief, therapy
Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

0

2 months ago

bring, comedy, dumb, dumbest, entertainment, ever, humor, internet, me, meme, seen, shit, silly
My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

0

3 months ago

again, appliance, belief, boomer, boomer belief, humor, malfunctioning, malfunctioning appliance, most, problem, problem-solving, slapping, solving, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

40 shares on X this month:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

89 shares on Slack this month:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Trending via Snapchat:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Making waves on Threads:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Seen just now on Slack:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Just landed via Threads:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Going viral on X:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

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