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They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

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Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

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I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

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Nobody rots in bed like I do.

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Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

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I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

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I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

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Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

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Is it possible that cheeseburgers are the unsung heroes of stress relief? ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ˜‚



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