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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,576

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Just shared via Discord:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Trending via YouTube:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
Is it possible that cheeseburgers are the unsung heroes of stress relief? 🤔🍔😂

cheeseburger, comfort, comfort food, food, healing, healing power, humor, never, power, underestimate

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

1 month ago
bond, character, fat, film, humor, i, james, James Bond, parody, ready, stereotype, think, world
I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

1 month ago
anything, consequence, consequences, deadline, humor, i, looming, motivation, procrastination, productivity, serious
Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

1 month ago
change, doing, expression, facial, facial change, facial expression, humor, i, joke, just, lighthearted, realization, self-awareness
Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

1 month ago
comedy, CVS, fairy, fairy tale, humor, let, Rapunzel, receipt, shopping, tale
I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

1 month ago
frustration, hate, here, i, open, opening, package, person, sealed, tear, tear here, try, using
The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

1 month ago
am, casual, clothes, comfort, fact, fashion, humor, i, lot, person, personality, self-deprecation, sleep, sleepwear, wardrobe

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Spotted on YouTube:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Going viral on X:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

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Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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