Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

340 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,933

Funny Quotes Topics

17,100

Funny Quotes Images

14,933

Updated

Dec 14, 2025

Users Online

3,836

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Just landed via Slack:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Just landed via Reddit:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Live now on Reddit:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Just shared via YouTube:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Spotted on TikTok:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ending the search for Mr. Right because he's already parked in the friend zone! 😂🔍❤️

babe, humor, joke, just, love, partner, relationship, soulmate, worry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

1 month ago

banter, confusion, girlfriend, humor, just, me, misunderstanding, playful, playful banter, relationship, whatever
If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

1 month ago

activity, arguing, argument, August, dating, fun, fun activity, humor, relationships, road, road trip, start, trip
My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

6 days ago

Christmas, December, decoration, decorations, easier, family, family life, holiday, house, humor, husband, life, moved, moving, said, taking
Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

1 month ago

activity, answer, break, carnival, children, fun, fun activity, gaggle, humor, party, piñata, playful, violence
When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

1 month ago

ability, attitude, bad, dark, dark humor, die, hope, humor, i, irony, pessimism, sarcasm, self-deprecation, situation, take, worse
Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

1 month ago

always, arguing, black, black sheep, corner, culture, digital, digital culture, humor, internet, media, online, online platform, platform, satire, self-argument, sheep, social, social media, tech, tech humor, Twitter, web

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Just shared via Pinterest:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Live now on YouTube:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Going viral on Snapchat:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏