33 funny partner quotes - Wordgag

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

May 27, 2026

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

May 27, 2026

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

May 26, 2026

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

May 26, 2026

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

May 26, 2026

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

May 26, 2026

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

May 26, 2026

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

May 26, 2026

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

May 24, 2026

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

May 24, 2026

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

May 23, 2026

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

May 23, 2026

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

May 23, 2026

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

May 22, 2026

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

May 22, 2026

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

May 22, 2026

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

May 21, 2026

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

May 20, 2026

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

May 20, 2026

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

May 19, 2026

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

May 19, 2026

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

May 18, 2026

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Apr 1, 2026

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Apr 1, 2026

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Apr 1, 2026

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Apr 1, 2026

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Apr 1, 2026

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Mar 31, 2026

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Mar 31, 2026

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Mar 31, 2026

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Mar 31, 2026

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Mar 31, 2026

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Mar 31, 2026