Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, as the saying goes: "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" 💁‍♀️ Embrace your uniqueness and keep everyone guessing – it's the perfect recipe for a little extra sprinkle of mystery and charm! 🌟✨😄

beautiful, i, just, know, knows, me, nobody, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad news, hammock, humor, news, place, receiving, receiving news, relaxation, situation, terrible, uncomfortable, uncomfortable situation
I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

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2 months ago

account, after, bank, bank account, checking, finance, fun, good, hate, having, humor, i, money, regret, spending, time
No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

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2 months ago

advice, boundary, house, humor, let, matter, move, move in, sad, sad story, story
Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

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2 months ago

alone, alone time, humor, never, opinion, opinions, peace, quiet, solitude, time, unsolicited
Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

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4 months ago

1994, 6, aging, back, chin, chin hair, exaggeration, eyebrow, eyebrow hair, facial, facial hair, five, friends, friendship, growth, hair, hair growth, humor, never, pluck, single, time, today
If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

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2 months ago

50, calculation, every, fail, failed, humor, i, ID, joke, math, money, school, test

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

95 shares on Slack this month:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

46 shares on WeChat this month:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

76 shares on Twitch this month:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

13 shares on YouTube this month:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

34 shares on X this month:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Just landed via Telegram:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Going viral on Messenger:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Trending via TikTok:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Shared recently on Telegram:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Trending via Facebook:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨