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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has viewed:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,639

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Live now on Pinterest:

Apparently, โ€œspiteโ€ is not an appropriate answer to โ€œWhat motivates you?โ€

Seen just now on YouTube:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Hi, Iโ€™m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Making waves on Telegram:

Oh right, like youโ€™ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Seen just now on Discord:

They wonโ€™t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Making waves on X:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I lost my composure in 1992. I havenโ€™t seen it since.

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Playful quote about feeling less than fabulous and a bit disgusting today.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Looks like someone went from fergalicious to fergusting real quick! ๐Ÿคข Maybe a little ferga-recharging is in order! ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™‚๏ธ #NotFeelingFergaliciousToday"

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

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Social Media Stars โญ

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

77 shares on X this month:

Iโ€™m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

I didnโ€™t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

I never forget a face, but in your case, Iโ€™ll be glad to make an exception.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต has bookmarked:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people donโ€™t think Iโ€™m dead.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ต has copied:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has shared:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I canโ€™t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I donโ€™t even have self-esteem.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Shared recently on Discord:

My bodyโ€™s check engine light has been on for years.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Breaking via WeChat:

โ€œYou handled it so well.โ€ Nah, I didnโ€™t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Breaking via Discord:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Trending via Twitch:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Making waves on Twitch:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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