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Who knew my teenage superpower was waking up before sunrise just for math class? 😴☕📚
174 Funny actually quotes
I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.
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Sounds like you need a wind turbine for your eye rolls and a solar panel for your sighs! 😂⚡️😄
Scientists don’t want you to know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because, if you actually meet a scientist, they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know.
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Scientists spilling facts like a chihuahua on an espresso binge! 🐶☕🔬
You are allowed to have ice cream five times a week during the months of July and August, and it’s actually good for your health, according to science.
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I'm going to start my own scientific study on ice cream health benefits—leading by example all summer long! 🍦🔬😄
The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.
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Guess we're all just "together-alone" now, like a virtual game of hide and seek where no one wants to be found! 🤦♂️📱 #ModernMagic
Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.
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Sounds like someone needs to update their comedy passport! 😂🤪🤣
Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’
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Sending a sloth gif and waiting for them to agree might just be the most adorable power move ever 🦥😂
I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.
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Revenge: because sometimes the best medicine isn’t laughter, it’s a touch of karma! 😏⚖️🎯
Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.
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Toddler-approved: The highest honor one can achieve before 9 p.m.! 👶❤️🏆
A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.
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🤣😂 Well, when it comes to secrets, silence is definitely golden… unless your friends have already mined those nuggets! 💎🙊