Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Commentary:
“Apparently my navigational skills are so superior, I practically guarantee arrival at the desired destination 🗺️🏆💪 #GPSinHumanForm”

, , , , , , ,
New funny quotes β†’

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

    Commentary:
    “Congratulations on mastering the art of productive procrastination! Remember, sometimes achieving nothing is an accomplishment in itself. Keep up the good work!”

  • When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

    Commentary:
    “Watch out, folks! We’ve got a fluffy shark on the loose! 🐱🦈 Don’t be fooled by those innocent eyes, this kitty means business when it comes to food! Keep your snacks close and your fingers closer! 😹”

  • Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

    Commentary:
    “When it comes to dramatic gestures, timing is everything! 💍💀💔 #WeddingNoNos #FuneralFauxPas”

  • A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

    Commentary:
    “Introducing the latest in fast food efficiency: the Drive-Thru Drone! Now you can scout out the quickest route to your burger bliss in record time 🍔🚗 Don’t get stuck behind a slowpoke, soar above the queues with your trusty fast food navigator! #InnovationGoals”

  • Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

    Commentary:
    “Seriously, where’s the tariff on kisses and wardrobe malfunctions? 💋👗 Maybe then we’d all be dressed to impress and feeling the love… or at least paying the price for it! 😂 #TariffGoals”

  • β€œYou’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

    Commentary:
    “Well, at least my sense of humor was my ultimate wingman back then! 🤪😂 #FunnyNotFoxy”