Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,341

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Spotted on Instagram:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Making waves on Telegram:

You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Trending via Instagram:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Spotted on Instagram:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Going bananas on Discord:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Shared recently on Slack:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

1 week ago

Witty text about NYC humorously challenging you to name every rat.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat… Well, that's a rat-her ambitious challenge! 🐀😆 It's like saying you love the ocean and being asked to name every fish. Quite the task, but hey, every rat deserves their moment of fame, right? 🌆😂"

challenge, city, every, funny question, humor, life, name, NYC, oh, question, rat, urban, urban life

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

73 shares on Threads this month:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

72 shares on X this month:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Shared recently on Reddit:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Making waves on X:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Going viral on Slack:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Just shared via Slack:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Making waves on WeChat:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Trending via Threads:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

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