Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Live now on YouTube:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Spotted on Slack:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Breaking via Slack:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Trending via WeChat:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Friends with consequences.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The government even made aliens boring.

Going bananas on X:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Don't be a criminal in the grammar world! Remember folks, punctuate or face the consequences – a never-ending sentence!

comedy, deserve, found, grammar, guilty, humor, law, people, punctuation, sentence, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

6 months ago

dream, excuse, humor, i, jealousy, just, mad, marriage, me, relationship, say, second, secret, wife
I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

6 months ago

bacon, burnt, crispy, death, food, humor, i, killing, man, me, men, relationship, sarcasm
I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

2 months ago

cash, commitment, fear, finance, love, money, relationship
What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

6 months ago

better, confidence, else, everyone, full, humor, insecure, insecurity, paradox, people, personality, personality trait, room, same, self-esteem, situation, social, social situation, super, think, time, trait, walk
Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

2 months ago

back, humor, just, later, life, opportunity, patience, timing
Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

2 months ago

cooky, craving, delivery, food, humor, just, online, online shopping, pizza, shopping, start, waiting, websites

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Just shared via Facebook:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Live now on Slack:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Just shared via Facebook:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Seen just now on X:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Making waves on Discord:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Shared recently on X:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Just shared via WeChat:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨