Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,264

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Netflix & by yourself.

Just landed via Twitch:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Spotted on X:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Making waves on Messenger:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Going viral on YouTube:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Making waves on Pinterest:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Spotted on Telegram:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Going bananas on Reddit:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Don't be a criminal in the grammar world! Remember folks, punctuate or face the consequences – a never-ending sentence!

comedy, deserve, found, grammar, guilty, humor, law, people, punctuation, sentence, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

0

2 months ago

comfort, expense, fortune, heating, humor, indoor, inside, irony, just, know, outdoor, outdoor heating, people, practicality, spend, temperature
People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

0

3 months ago

ask, class, eyes, humor, insane, money, people, privilege, question, ski, social, social class, something
My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

0

2 months ago

ask, ever, experience, hallucination, humor, i, joke, kid, kids, me, odd, odd question, parenting, question, thing
I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

0

2 months ago

bread, food, friendship, garlic, humor, i, never
I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, dyslexia, hope, humor, i, irony, mail, people, Santa, Satan
I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

0

2 months ago

3, am, back, car, cars, club, coming, glad, horse, humor, imagine, invention, late, late night, night, riding, transportation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on YouTube this month:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

55 shares on Discord this month:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨