Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Going viral on WeChat:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Seen just now on Facebook:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Just shared via Discord:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Just landed via X:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Making waves on Twitch:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Clever quote highlighting people's fear behind their kindness, with a humorous and playful tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to please everyone is like trying to hug a cactus—you're just going to end up in a prickly situation! 🌵😅

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

10 shares on Discord this month:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

33 shares on Facebook this month:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,737

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Trending via TikTok:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Just landed via WeChat:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Seen just now on Threads:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Shared recently on Discord:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Trending via Twitch:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴