Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between the know-it-alls and the actual know-it-alls. It's like a never-ending battle of wits, with one side armed with arrogance and the other with actual knowledge. Let the eye-rolling commence!"

annoyance, everything, humor, irony, knowledge, people, sarcasm, self-awareness, wisdom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

2 months ago

ambition, ever, humor, i, kid, late, little, procrastination, wanted, work
You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

5 hours ago

2020, apocalypse, chaos, convince, hell, humor, living, me, open, pandemic, portal, still, surreal, year
I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

3 months ago

age, happy, happy hour, hour, humor, life, life stage, nap, relaxation, stage, where
Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

2 months ago

accomplish, cartoon, collaboration, funny thought, got, humor, imagination, jerry, just, once, partnership, teamwork, thought, together, tom, Tom and Jerry
Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

3 months ago

back, face, humor, i, past, punch, reflection, regret, self, time, time travel, travel, want
Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

2 months ago

am, better, better person, choice, cool, fashion, going, humor, i, jacket, making, materialism, myself, new, person, personal, personal choice, priorities, purchase, self-improvement, working

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Slack this month:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

92 shares on X this month:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

37 shares on Threads this month:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

42 shares on X this month:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

53 shares on X this month:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

75 shares on Threads this month:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Breaking via Snapchat:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Live now on WeChat:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Just landed via Threads:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Spotted on YouTube:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Spotted on Instagram:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Live now on YouTube:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨