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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Just landed via Slack:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Spotted on Twitch:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Going viral on Threads:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Seen just now on X:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Freshly posted on X:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Plants be like: "Photosynthesis? More like photOOPSynthesis, gotta watch my figure 🌿🥗"

food, humor, joke, light, lunch, nature, plant, plants, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

0

2 months ago

actually, couch, exercise, humor, i, laziness, me, procrastination, protection, under, workout
Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

0

2 months ago

actually, dating, getting, humor, just, okay, pretending, relationship, sarcasm, situationship, someone, used
90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

0

2 months ago

90, again, exhaustion, family, humor, just, lie, lie down, parenthood, parenting, parenting struggle, rest, struggle, thinking
I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

0

3 months ago

back, car, driving, found, humor, i, Jesus, joke, religion, road, road safety, safety, signal, traffic, turn, turn signal
My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

0

2 months ago

brain, concern, dehydration, due, favorite, game, guessing, headache, health, health concern, humor, lack, malnutrition, medical, medical humor, migraine, poor, posture, sleep, stress
Body by sandwich.

0

2 months ago

body, fitness, food, humor, joke, sandwich

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on X this month:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Just landed via Telegram:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Just landed via Telegram:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Going viral on Discord:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Making waves on Discord:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Seen just now on WeChat:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Seen just now on Discord:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Body by sandwich.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨