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Commentary:
"Trying not to cheat on your crush who's not even aware of your existence? That's some next level commitment, my friend! 🙈 Maybe let's focus on getting your crush to notice you first before worrying about flirting mishaps. 😂 #CrushInvisibleToCrush"

cheat, comedy, crush, dating, flirt, humor, love, me, relationship, trying, unrequited, unrequited love

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

4 months ago
ask, hang, hang out, humor, interaction, invitation, me, rejection, sarcasm, say, social, social interaction, want
Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

2 months ago
aroma, beans, breath, coffee, contradiction, good, humor, smell, taste
What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

1 month ago
boy, favorite, funky, funky music, music, playing, song, white, white boy
You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

3 months ago
bad, bad decision, day, decision, deprivation, exhaustion, hard, horrible, humor, late, late night, next, next day, night, procrastination, sleep, sleep deprivation, stay, stay up late, tiredness
Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

2 months ago
accusation, block, comedy, guy, humor, interaction, just, me, media, social, social media, talk, Twitter
Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

1 month ago
chop, chopping, cooking, crispy, delicious, food, foreplay, great, humor, i, joke, oven, peel, peeling, pieces, roast, roasting, where

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Just shared via X:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Live now on Threads:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Making waves on Snapchat:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

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Activity Log ✨

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Being a little freak is my love language.

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

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Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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