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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Trending via Instagram:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Making waves on Threads:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, at least my "non-bowling" shoes don't come with a warranty against banana peel mishaps 😂👟🍌

bowling, footwear, humor, normal, shoe, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

1 month ago

customer, day, face, face slap, frustration, hand, humor, interaction, professional, service, should, slap, workplace
It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

1 month ago

am, closer, crazy, date, finding, future, humor, i, irony, loneliness, love, relationship, time, year
Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

1 month ago

alcohol, bad, bad day, bar, coping, coping mechanism, day, drinking, humor, i, liquor, liquor store, mechanism, stop, store, today
Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

4 weeks ago

born, chance, forced, humor, i, irony, mysterious, personality, quiet, self-deprecating, talkative, whenever
If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

4 weeks ago

brevity, Christianity, humor, joke, kama, Kama Sutra, page, religion, religious, religious satire, satire, sexuality, sutra
I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

4 weeks ago

before, creativity, expression, fun, going, humor, i, joke, just, lie, literally, love, phrase, pretend, say, saying, something, speech, streets

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Trending via Pinterest:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Spotted on WeChat:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

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Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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