Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,325

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Just shared via Facebook:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Going viral on TikTok:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Live now on X:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Just landed via Slack:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Breaking via Threads:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

2 months ago

0

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your relationship reaches Taylor Swift level drama, it's like you're living in your very own country music ballad. Just remember, there's no shame in belting out those lyrics and pretending you're in your own music video – complete with the dramatic breakup scene and inevitable revenge plot twist!"

bad, break, break up, feeling, humor, love, music, relatable, relationship, song, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

0

2 months ago

chocolate, death, death penalty, dessert, ever, hope, humor, i, irony, option, penalty, wish
I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

0

2 months ago

appearance, confidence, Funny, got, growth, hot, humor, i, perfect, personal, personal growth, self, self-confidence, transformation, twenty, ugly
The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

0

5 months ago

adult, being, emotion, humor, life, matter, perseverance, resilience, responsibility, sad, sadness, show, worst
A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

0

5 months ago

communication, date, girl, going, humor, just, know, marry, relationship, say, something
Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

0

2 months ago

awkward, communication, dating, dialogue, dog, humor, i, just, man, me, pet, relationships, same, sometimes, talk, voice, want
The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

0

2 months ago

envy, humor, i, irony, people, problem, rich, rich people, self-reflection, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Discord this month:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

80 shares on X this month:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

You give my middle finger an erection.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,345

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Just shared via YouTube:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Going bananas on Discord:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Spotted on Messenger:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Trending via Threads:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴