Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Dec 19, 2025

3,962

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Trending via Reddit:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Shared recently on Slack:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Making waves on Slack:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Going viral on WeChat:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

1 month ago

0

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your relationship reaches Taylor Swift level drama, it's like you're living in your very own country music ballad. Just remember, there's no shame in belting out those lyrics and pretending you're in your own music video – complete with the dramatic breakup scene and inevitable revenge plot twist!"

bad, break, break up, feeling, humor, love, music, relatable, relationship, song, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

0

2 months ago

animals, God, humor, know, much, pets, secrets, talk, thank, thank God, too
Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

0

2 months ago

around, casino, dog, every, finish, food, gestures, gone, hands, humor, i, love, pet, prove, proving, snack, something, time, wave
If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

0

2 months ago

face, humor, i, outlaw, poster, unwanted, west, wild, Wild West
If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

0

1 month ago

advice, environment, flush, health, humor, medicine, pharmacy, pills, swallow, toilet, too, toxic, toxicity
Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

0

1 month ago

dairy, food, heathen, humor, intolerance, lactose, tolerate
The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

0

2 months ago

card, humor, i, joke, magic, magician, me, pick, told, trick, Visa

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

75 shares on Twitch this month:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,595

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Trending via X:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Just shared via Twitch:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Just shared via Slack:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Live now on YouTube:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

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