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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,576

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Having a job ruined my life.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Trending via Slack:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Going viral on Twitch:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Going viral on Pinterest:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Making waves on YouTube:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Just shared via Instagram:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Trending via Pinterest:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

2 weeks ago

Witty text about a rough relationship making you relate to Taylor Swift songs.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your relationship reaches Taylor Swift level drama, it's like you're living in your very own country music ballad. Just remember, there's no shame in belting out those lyrics and pretending you're in your own music video – complete with the dramatic breakup scene and inevitable revenge plot twist!"

bad, break, break up, feeling, humor, love, music, relatable, relationship, song, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Work is the worst video game ever.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,739

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Breaking via Threads:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

Live now on Twitch:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Just landed via WeChat:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

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