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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Breaking via Instagram:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Breaking via Slack:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Making waves on Pinterest:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Breaking via Threads:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

4 weeks ago

Witty text about a rough relationship making you relate to Taylor Swift songs.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your relationship reaches Taylor Swift level drama, it's like you're living in your very own country music ballad. Just remember, there's no shame in belting out those lyrics and pretending you're in your own music video – complete with the dramatic breakup scene and inevitable revenge plot twist!"

bad, break, break up, feeling, humor, love, music, relatable, relationship, song, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on TikTok this month:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

17 shares on Slack this month:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

73 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,314

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Shared recently on Discord:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Live now on TikTok:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Live now on Discord:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Shared recently on X:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Just landed via Twitch:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

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