Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,835

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Spotted on X:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Just shared via Messenger:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Seen just now on Slack:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Spotted on Messenger:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Seen just now on Discord:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's one veteran that never saw any action! 🍌🪖

active, active duty, after, combat, combat deployment, condom, deployment, duty, humor, retirement, tour, wallet, wallet condom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

0

2 months ago

card, declined, eating, embarrassment, food, front, funny moment, humor, me, moment, sandwich, Subway
I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, multiple, multiple personality, personality, psychology, score, self-assessment, test
My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

0

2 months ago

canine, dog, folium, folium lanceolatum, humor, joke, just, lanceolatum, leaf, nature, pets, tracking
Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

0

1 month ago

adult, affair, affairs, again, call, desperate, humor, less, relationship, situationship, sounds, terminology
Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

0

1 month ago

activity, appetite, carry, craving, cute, exaggeration, food, fun, fun activity, humor, invent, joke, mini, people, pizza, should, take
“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

0

2 months ago

30, activity, daily, daily routine, day, every, exercise, fitness, humor, least, minutes, motivation, much, okay, Olympics, routine, sarcasm, should, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

36 shares on X this month:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Spotted on TikTok:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Just shared via Messenger:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Shared recently on Threads:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Trending via Telegram:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨