Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Making waves on Twitch:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Just shared via Threads:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Trending via Reddit:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Seen just now on Slack:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's one veteran that never saw any action! 🍌🪖

active, active duty, after, combat, combat deployment, condom, deployment, duty, humor, retirement, tour, wallet, wallet condom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

3 months ago

court, entertainment, humor, lawyer, legal, performance, song, songs, walk-up, walk-up song, wrestler
I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

4 months ago

appearance, attractiveness, being, easier, going, hotter, humor, just, motivation, nicer, personality, sarcasm, self-confidence
Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

5 months ago

addiction, addiction recovery, caught, colada, getting, great, humor, meet, meet people, people, piña, piña colada, place, rain, recovery, reference, rehab, socializing, song, song reference
Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

2 months ago

back, cancellation, humor, just, Monday, new, news, relaxation, sleep, turn, wake, wake up, wish
When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

6 months ago

challenge, communication, dumb, dumb question, humor, i, misunderstanding, personal, question, said, take, thing
Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

3 months ago

call, Facetime, funny observation, humility, humor, observation, screenshot, seeing, self-image, technology, video, video call, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Discord this month:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

28 shares on Discord this month:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

20 shares on Discord this month:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

38 shares on Slack this month:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

53 shares on Threads this month:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

63 shares on Telegram this month:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Making waves on WeChat:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Just shared via TikTok:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Making waves on Discord:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Just landed via Reddit:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Making waves on Twitch:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Making waves on Discord:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨