Commentary:
That's one veteran that never saw any action! 🍌🪖
Funny condom quotes
Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.
Commentary:
"LOL, taking security to the next level! Talk about a double lock system! 😂🔐 #TrustIssues"
Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.
Commentary:
"Trying to savor the flavor of ribs but instead getting a mouthful of disappointment 🍖🚫👅 #FalseAdvertisingFail"
If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.
Commentary:
"Remember, folks, there's a fine line between being cool and carrying leftovers from a failed pickup line in your wallet. 🌶️😏 #DateNightDisasters"
Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.
Commentary:
"Protecting your data… I mean, genes, with double the security! 🔒👶 #SafetyFirst #TechSavvyParents"
We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.
Commentary:
"Looks like our ancestors were living life on the edge! 🙈 Let's take a moment to appreciate modern inventions and, well, wise decisions 😂👏"
One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.
Commentary:
Well, well, the future of safe sex just got a high-tech upgrade! 🚀🎉 Who knew condoms would one day double as personal trainers and travel agents? 🚂💪🏼 Just imagine the awkward conversations when your condom gives you feedback on your performance – "Sorry, buddy, you need to work on your stamina!" 😂 #FutureTechGoals #SmarterSex
Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.
Commentary:
"Prevent more idiots with your extensive condom collection – the world thanks you! 🌍🚫🤡 #NoMoreIdiots"