funny tour quotes - Wordgag

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

May 19, 2026May 19, 2026

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Apr 1, 2026

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Mar 31, 2026

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Mar 28, 2026

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Mar 25, 2026

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Mar 25, 2026

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Mar 25, 2026