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Commentary:
"Who knew forgetfulness could be so profitable 😅💸 Just make sure you don't have too many 'accidents' or you might end up saving more than you bargained for! #FinanceHumor"

accident, accidentally, financial, follow, forgetting, home, humor, me, money, save, tips, tricks, wallet

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99 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

47 shares on Threads this month:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

72 shares on Discord this month:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Spotted on Facebook:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Trending via Messenger:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Trending via TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Trending via Slack:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Making waves on Threads:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

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