Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.