Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,559

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Making waves on Snapchat:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Just landed via Messenger:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Going viral on YouTube:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Just landed via Instagram:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Live now on Reddit:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Spotted on Slack:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Some people are just tirelessly dedicated to their craft! 🤦‍♂️🙄 #FullTimeAsshole"

asshole, attitude, being, comedy, full-time, full-time job, humor, job, personality, sarcasm, seems, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, anyone, else, fact, fun, fun fact, give, humor, i, icebreaker, interaction, introvert, listen, love, me, most, reflect, reflection, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk, time, while
Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

0

2 months ago

electrocution, enough, health, humor, i, joke, memory, mental, mental health, need, therapy
If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

0

2 months ago

am, exclaiming, expression, good, greeting, horror, humor, i, mean, morning, sarcasm, say
I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

0

2 months ago

acknowledgment, critique, humor, i, irony, most, people, rich, stupid, stupidity, super, think, time, wealth, wealthy
Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, budgeting, camping, Europe, financial, going, humor, me, planning, summer, summer vacation, travel, travel planning, vacation
For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

0

2 months ago

desire, Halloween, humor, i, love, loved

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

99 shares on Discord this month:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Making art is making love to the world.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

23 shares on X this month:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

65 shares on Slack this month:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

73 shares on X this month:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Shared recently on Telegram:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Just landed via TikTok:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Just shared via Threads:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Seen just now on YouTube:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Going bananas on YouTube:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨