Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Breaking via Twitch:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Just shared via Twitch:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Just shared via Messenger:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Trending via Twitch:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

3 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs enlightenment when you've got bacon sizzling in the pan? 🥓🙏 Bacon worship at its finest! 😄 #BaconOverBeliefs"

avoid, bacon, beliefs, diet, food, humor, i, irony, people, preference, religion

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

20 shares on Discord this month:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Trending via Threads:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Just landed via Threads:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Just shared via X:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Making waves on Messenger:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Just landed via Reddit:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨