Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Broadcasted on X:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Freshly posted on X:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Spotted on Discord:

You’re not really a writer unless you send at least one email a month with a script attachment, saying, “Sorry, read this one instead.”

Live now on X:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Breaking via Messenger:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

3 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
"Who needs enlightenment when you've got bacon sizzling in the pan? 🥓🙏 Bacon worship at its finest! 😄 #BaconOverBeliefs"

avoid, bacon, beliefs, diet, food, humor, i, irony, people, preference, religion

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

2 months ago

chip, chips, classic, classic combo, Coca Cola, combo, funny observation, guy, just, knows, lay’s, Lay’s chip, observation, seen, snack, stuff, yellow
The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

1 hour ago

art, care, crazy, health, humor, letting, letting go, mental, mental health, once, relaxation, relief, self, self-care, stress, stress relief, subtle, while, yourself
Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

2 months ago

doctors, funny observation, healthcare, hear, humor, irony, joke, me, observation, room, wait, waiting, waiting room, where
Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

2 months ago

am, before, communication, honesty, humor, i, just, shocked, speak, spontaneity, think, unfortunately
After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

2 months ago

after, fresh, hatred, humor, i, job, reenergized, return, vacation, work
I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

13 hours ago

bag, bags, buy, chanel, Chanel bag, excitement, friend, friends, i, luxury, me, random, shopping, spontaneous, treat yourself, Tuesday, wait

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

80 shares on Threads this month:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

12 shares on Twitch this month:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

17 shares on Facebook this month:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Making waves on Telegram:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Just shared via Instagram:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Just landed via Reddit:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Going viral on Telegram:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨