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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Shared recently on TikTok:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Shared recently on Threads:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Breaking via Threads:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Shared recently on Facebook:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Seen just now on X:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Going viral on WeChat:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

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Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.
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Commentary:
"Living in the past? I still get my mail forwarded there! 😂📬 #PeakRealEstate"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Messenger this month:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

49 shares on X this month:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

29 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,522

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Going viral on Twitch:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Live now on Telegram:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Just landed via TikTok:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

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