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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Making waves on Twitch:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Making waves on Telegram:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Trending via Pinterest:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Making waves on Telegram:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Broadcasted on X:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

…

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma: bouquet of roses or rawr-some roar? 🦖🌹"

dinosaur, fun, girl, humor, lover, mood, personality, playful, sometimes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

0

2 months ago

awake, email, hope, humor, i, keeps, message, night, sarcasm, sleep, wakefulness
If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

0

2 months ago

alone, announce, box, cat, cats, cleaning, help, humor, just, litter, litter box, need, time, time alone
Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

0

2 months ago

abyss, comedy, contact, customer, customer service, dark, dark comedy, existential, humor, important, scream, service, thank, thank you
Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

0

2 months ago

call, communication, decline, humor, i, missed, missed call, sorry, technology
If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

0

2 months ago

humor, i, irony, me, news, sarcasm, slap, smart, technology, turn, TV
Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

0

2 months ago

communication, crawl, digital, digital communication, DM, DMs, flirting, humor, i, media, messaging, mind, playful, romance, social, social media, stay, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

16 shares on X this month:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

35 shares on Instagram this month:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Spotted on YouTube:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sane is boring.

Trending via Messenger:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Live now on Snapchat:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨