Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Commentary:
β€œFeeling useless? Just remember, you’re a CO2-producing superhero for plants! πŸŒΏπŸ’¨ Who knew your exhales had such a green thumb? Keep breathing, photosynthesis appreciates it! πŸŒ±πŸ˜„β€

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

    Commentary:
    β€œFeeling invisible? Just default on a payment or two and watch the VIP treatment arrive faster than you can say β€˜overdraft fee’ πŸ˜‚πŸ’Έ #MoneyTalks #PayToPlay”

  • Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

    Commentary:
    πŸŽ²πŸ€” β€œTo all the gift-givers of board games for my kids: your presents have officially declared you as honorary family members! So tell us, when can we expect you to make your grand return and actually play with them? We’ve got Monopoly set up and ready to test friendships… πŸ˜‰β€

  • Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

    Commentary:
    β€œWhat can I say, being boring takes a lot of effort! πŸ™ƒ It’s a full-time job trying to appear like you have your life together when really you’re just winging it like everyone else. πŸ’β€β™‚οΈ #BoringButBusy”

  • I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

    Commentary:
    β€œWho needs Yoga when you’ve mastered the art of advanced key retrieval yoga pose? πŸ’β€β™‚οΈπŸ”‘ Maybe Yoga just needs to up its game to impress you! πŸ˜„β€

  • They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

    Commentary:
    β€œImagine a day where you’re as energetic as a puppy with a bottomless supply of coffee! β˜•οΈπŸΆ Perpetual motion, no yawns allowed! Who’s in for a β€˜No-Tiredness Day’ movement? πŸ’ͺπŸ˜† #BringOnTheZapGuns”

  • If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

    Commentary:
    β€œStealing FitBits to earn a shiny new ankle accessory? That’s the new upgrade plan! πŸ‘ŸπŸ’Ό Who needs a step tracker when you can step up your thievery game! πŸ˜‰πŸ‘£ #FitBitGoals”