Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Jan 11, 2026

3,263

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Live now on TikTok:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Trending via TikTok:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Trending via X:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Seen just now on Facebook:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

2 months ago

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the rare talent of impressing oneself with embarrassing moments – a true mastery of self-surprise 😳👏 Who knew embarrassment could be so impressive? Keep setting the bar high, even if it's with blush-inducing remarks! 🤣"

embarrassing, embarrassment, even, i, impress, myself, say, self, something

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

2 months ago

colonoscopy, done, healthcare, hope, humor, i, next, plumber, politician, politics, satire, someone, surgery, voted, voting
Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

2 months ago

activity, dad, day, days, energy, fun, fun activity, home, kids, leave, much, rainy, rainy day, shopping, too
Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

4 weeks ago

Elon, Elon Musk, ever, exactly, humor, internet, internet humor, life, media, musk, read, social, social media, stupid, tweet
They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

3 weeks ago

biography, biopic, guy, humor, just, movie, random, random guy, satire, should
I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

2 months ago

cold, deserve, humor, i, irony, self-reflection, suffer, understand, winter
Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

3 months ago

disappear, enjoy, humor, i, love, me, presence, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Dear Santa, Money!

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Breaking via Twitch:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Just shared via Instagram:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Going bananas on TikTok:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Just landed via Slack:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Trending via X:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Breaking via WeChat:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Just shared via Telegram:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

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