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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has copied:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has downloaded:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has copied:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

The term β€œbisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has shared:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has copied:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has shared:

The note on this boxed wine says β€˜Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has copied:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Twitch:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Trending via TikTok:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Just landed via Facebook:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Spotted on Discord:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

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Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.
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Commentary:
"Looks like you missed the boat on complaints! 🚒 Better luck next time! β³πŸ˜„"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on YouTube this month:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

71 shares on TikTok this month:

β€œYou’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

27 shares on Facebook this month:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking β€œOkay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

β€œHope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has bookmarked:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has shared:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has shared:

Called in, β€œI can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has shared:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has copied:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has shared:

My favorite color is money.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on Telegram:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Live now on LinkedIn:

When I die I want people to say β€œHmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Just landed via Telegram:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Spotted on Twitch:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Just landed via Slack:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Making waves on WeChat:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Going viral on Telegram:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

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