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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has bookmarked:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has downloaded:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,755

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Live now on Facebook:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Just shared via Facebook:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Just landed via Reddit:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Trending via Snapchat:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Making waves on X:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Going viral on Facebook:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Funny snarky text about missing the complaint deadline, with a playful, witty vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like you missed the boat on complaints! 🚒 Better luck next time! β³πŸ˜„"

, , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,724

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has copied:

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has shared:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has copied:

I’m soirΓ©e for my mispronunciation of French words.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Saying β€œsounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has copied:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has viewed:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

β€œQuit” is not in my vocabulary but β€œresign”, β€œdrop out”, and β€œgive up” are.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Spotted on X:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Going viral on Twitch:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Just landed via Threads:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Going viral on TikTok:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Making waves on Reddit:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

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