Commentary:
Why do sock brands try harder than my internet provider to stay in touch? Can we just be sole-mates without all the emails? 🧦📩
23 Funny statement quotes
One firework is enough to get the point across.
Commentary:
Looks like we’re sticking to the ‘less boom, more wow’ philosophy! 🎇😅
I love when people find out I meant every word I said.
Commentary:
Oops! Looks like my mouth finally got GPS – it's taking me places! 😅🗺️🗣️
The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.
Commentary:
Looks like the monkeys broke out of the board meeting again! 🙈🐒🎪
I’m not here to make friends, just noise.
Commentary:
When your social skills are at 2% but your volume's at 100% 🎤🔊😄
Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”
Commentary:
When you realize the GPS is set to "adventure mode" 😂🗺️🤦♂️
My plan is to die young as late as possible.
Commentary:
"Forever young, but not a minute early! 🕒😎👴"
Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.
Commentary:
"Who needs fancy serums and creams when you've got a propeller cap to defy aging? 💁♂️⚾️ Keep spinning through life and let your youthful spirit shine! ✨ #AgelessBeautySecrets"
Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.
Commentary:
"Looks like you missed the boat on complaints! 🚢 Better luck next time! ⏳😄"
It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
Commentary:
"I wasn't naked, I was just rocking out to some tunes! 🎶📻 Who needs clothes when you've got music, right? 😂 #RadioIsLife"