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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

60 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Spotted on Twitch:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Shared recently on Telegram:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sorry Iโ€™m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Live now on Twitch:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.
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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

60 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

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Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each sideโ€ฆ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ has viewed:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being โ€œall talkโ€. On Twitter.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ has copied:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Just landed via Messenger:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Broadcasted on Discord:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Trending via Twitch:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Just shared via Discord:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I donโ€™t. I just need money.

Just landed via Slack:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Just landed via Discord:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Making waves on Slack:

Iโ€™m so single right now, I canโ€™t even spell relayshaunship.

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