Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I need a day off from myself.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,248

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Going viral on Facebook:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Just shared via Threads:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Just shared via Telegram:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Spotted on Messenger:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Live now on Snapchat:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

…

Commentary:
"That place is so exclusive, even its own crowd can't get in! 🎟️🚪😄"

crowded, humor, irony, joke, nobody, place, sarcasm, situation, social, social situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

0

2 months ago

bad, better, expectations, humor, imagination, optimism, perspective, pessimism, reality, things
This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

0

4 weeks ago

before, Christmas, festive, holiday, humor, nightmare, spooky, year
Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

0

2 months ago

demon, demons, empty, expression, hell, here, humor, sarcasm
You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

0

2 months ago

again, experience, humor, life, me, pay, year
A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, clarity, foghorn, honesty, humor, own, people, perception
Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

0

2 months ago

ago, broke, communication, done, frustration, humor, i, long time, phone, should, talk, technology, time, work, work phone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

25 shares on Discord this month:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

For the record, I use a turntable.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

71 shares on Discord this month:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

29 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Breaking via Slack:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Spotted on Facebook:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Live now on Discord:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨