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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Going bananas on X:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Breaking via YouTube:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Just landed via Instagram:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Making waves on Facebook:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Going viral on Slack:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Just landed via Slack:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Shared recently on Slack:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Just landed via Slack:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

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That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.
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Commentary:
Mind soup alert! Somebody's been overcooking their thoughts again! 🧐🤯🍲

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

66 shares on Discord this month:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,309

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Trending via WeChat:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Spotted on Telegram:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Going viral on YouTube:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Going bananas on Slack:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Shared recently on Messenger:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Going bananas on Twitch:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

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